A clean sink

In the last year I've done a lot of things to improve myself. To be honest, I've made attempts to improve myself nearly constantly for my entire life, but often with the best of intentions and the worst of focus. Often I've wanted to completely remake myself in thirty days, somehow transforming ducklinglike into swandom. I didn't really think much about the inbetween. Maybe it's the ADD or something else that makes me pretty good at right now and really ambition about sometime in the future but pretty foggy on the next few years.

I've got a few improvement projects going on but the one that I think so far has been the most successful is that I do not go to sleep with a full sink. I was in some yoga teacher training thing where we learned about yogic cooking. All I can remember is that the lady told us that the sink is like the mouth and the ass of the kitchen. That stuck with me.

That was about twelve years ago though and while I couldn't go near my sink without thinking about the whole thing in an uncomfortable way, if only because I can't quite figure out the logic. What is the faucet? What is the drain? Even given the clear problems tracing the metaphor It still lingered as a way of shaming myself for having such a dirty ass or dirty mouth. My sink always overflowed. The dishwasher was always needing to be run or needing to be emptied and so the sink was the waiting room.

Six months ago I decided that I might be unable to keep my parents alive, remove my round belly, train my dog, write my book or make a million dollars. But I could clean my sink. So now my sink is clean. I have taken to putting the kettle on to boil a cup of tea while I wash dishes. As I drink my tea I write. These are such small things. But I've become happier because of them.